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  • Writer's pictureMary Jensen


Twenty-three is how old you would be today.

Three years since I have seen your smile or heard your laugh. I think about when you were here, memories made, placed traveled, and challenges faced. I long for those days.

Three years since you left us. I still see you everywhere. Riding your bike, fixing your car, giving your brother a hard time. I would give anything for more of that.

Three years since that tragic day. I often wonder what you would be like today. Would you have met a nice girl, smart and fearless just like you? Would you have a family or started your own business like we used to talk about? I wish we could still have those conversations about all the things you wanted to do

Three years since my heart shattered, still broken, never to be complete again. I do my best to manage this grief. I find it hard to be happy because I feel sad all the time. I wear a mask only a few get to see behind.

Three years since you walked out the front door with a smile and a “love you too mom” yet it seems like yesterday. If only I knew it was the last time I would hear those words I would have held you tighter and never let go.

Three years of tears and sadness. You are always in my thoughts. It all still seems so unreal, like a bad dream that I cannot wake up from.

Three years since birthday cake and presents, laughter and jokes. This year I am choosing to celebrate your birthday, to celebrate you. I know I won’t ever stop mourning your death but today I want to smile when I think of you instead of cry. I want to reminisce with family and friends. Today you would have been twenty-three.

Big Whole Lot Erik



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