The Storm
The Storm A broken mother And sad brother Eternal cloudy days A father with regrets Apologies are unpaid debts Rain washing away that...
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The Dark Side of My Grief
Trigger warning: PTSD, car accident, death Grief is More Than Feeling Sad and Lonely What do you think about when you hear the word grief?...
The Last of The Firsts
Remember when our children were born, and it doesn’t really matter how many children we have, we counted their first smile, their first...
Twenty-One
How do we do this today? It's supposed to be a day of celebration, presents, and blowing out candles. It's supposed to be a day spent...
Grief is Exhausting
I’m so tired. I’m tired of feeling sad. I’m tired of my feet feeling like weights as I walk from place to place. Every morning I look in...
Planning the One Year Memorial
The school year is almost over. It’s usually a time for family vacations and days spent in the pool or at the beach. I think back to the...
The Day He Died is Like an Old Movie Spinning Endlessly on its Reel
Every day these moments play in my head like an old movie spinning endlessly on its reel. I am left stuck sitting there watching it over an
A painful existence between acceptance and denial
I had lunch this week with a good friend of mine. She and I have something in common. We are part of this miserable club that no one...
I want to help people who feel broken inside find their new normal
I know my posts lately have been dark, sad, and filled with grief. (I promise this one won't be too sad and dark) I am trying to cope...
This is My New Normal...Five Months after My Son’s Death
It’s been five months now. Five months since Erik’s death. I still have a hard time saying that. While I know he is gone, it is...
A Different Kind of Christmas
It’s Christmas day. Our home is decorated inside and out with ornaments and holiday trinkets. Garland carefully draped along the...
Why I Am Grateful
Thanksgiving is here, Christmas is not far behind, and 2018 is coming to a fast close. As we get ready to greet family and friends and...
A Faithless Grief
We all experience grief in our own way. I suppose some people can process grief more easily than others. I am not one of those people. ...
My Heart is a Firestorm Fueled by Grief
The palms of my hands hurt. Yet the scorching pain in my heart is relentless. I feel as if I am losing my mind. The hardest times for...
It's called a Bereavement Support Group
After some confusion with my GPS map, I finally found the right building on the Hospice property where the bereavement support group...
A few thoughts before my first grief support group meeting
Tonight I am going to my first grief support group meeting which is hosted by the local hospice. I heard it's a very good group. I don't...
Stop telling me its going to be okay
Erik, I'm struggling so bad.. How the hell do I accept this? How do I continue to live without feeling guilty you're not? My best...
My Heart is Broken, Still Life Goes On
I had this dream a few nights ago. It was a weird dream. I was in an old fashioned home. The rooms were painted in dark colors. There...
When will
My sister, Emily, wrote this beautiful poem in memory of my son Erik. I loved it and wanted to share it with you. #ErikHoxie...
I need help getting through this
I think my husband is worried about me, seriously worried. Sunday night I was watching a show on TV. It was the last episode, the...